I am an animal nut.  I come by this honestly enough, as I grew up in a house that was full of pets.  We had everything, mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, insects... one room in our house (it was called Irving for lack of a better title) was dedicated to the lizards, turtles, snakes and alligators.  The whole room had a construct of plants and ropes against the ceiling for the lizards to crawl around in, a plastic wading pool with the turtles and alligators and an open tank of crickets for self-feeding.  Our house was referred to as the zoo by the neighbors.  I really can't think why!  Before you get weirded out about the snakes, they were all in tanks; poor snakes get such an evil press!  They were at the least beautiful, and very interesting.

So, my greatest pet stories come from the alligators; doesn't everyone have a great alligator story or two?  These critters were really Caimans, a relative to the alligator, but not as mean.  Our two cuties were 18" when we acquired them and they grew to between three and four feet long, including the tail.  Denny and Corduroy resided in the plastic wading pool with the turtles in the Irving room.  Despite the three-foot barrier they could jump out and would grace us on occasion with their company.

One such visit was when I had a date over.  The dog came running out from under the couch so I popped my head under to look and was greeted with alligator jaws opened at me.  That's how they greet people.  It is a primitive manner, I know, and being young at the time I couldn't appreciate it.  I ran shrieking up stairs to get my parents, "Mother, your alligator is out AGAIN!"

I don't think that date ever came over again...

For some reason my husband doesn't share my enthusiasm for this hobby.  I haven't been able to figure that one out though.  My brother, on the other hand, has a room in his house where the tortoise can roam at will.  I have turned to farming and visiting my brother's house when I can.

Remind me to tell you about the lamb in the bath later...

An update on my life (if you care to check in that is):

Please note the week prior to a production is "affectionately" known as hell week - for all the late night rehearsals and trying to get everything together before the run.

We opened "The Miss Firecracker Contest" by Beth Henley last Friday.

So, Miss Glutton for Punishment that I am, "Lend Me A Tenor" by Ken Ludwig opens this Friday - different theater company.

Now as if that isn't bad enough, there is the Fourth of July in here somewhere and all that it entails: parade, carnival, visiting relatives & my Mother's birthday.

Not only am I sleep deprived and stressed, I am also sick and PMSing.

I think my brain hit zombie status awhile ago.  I'll have to have that verified by an independent authority figure. 

I am so glad I have an understanding boss.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Well, if the first play was anything to go by, everything will be great.  We had such fun that I had a really hard time not laughing while performing.  My character is very drunk in one scene and falls/slides off the couch and ends up sitting there befuddled while my co-actor tells me a story about midgets and cesarean births.

It was excellent, and I am told there will be photos to link to.  Well, we'll see about that.

In this next production, I am on stage in a towel and then a Merry Widow and I seduce a guy on stage at the same time there is another seduction going on stage in the "next room."

Ya gotta love being able to live wild vicariously - except that I am very tired.

So, lately I feel my brains dripping out of my ear.  The last time I felt like this, I had just given birth.

Partially it is because I have too many things going on and can't seem to concentrate well.  Partially it is because I am no longer that spring chicken and maybe my hormones are out of whack again.

So while it is always a challenge to memorize my play lines, now it is even more so.  Frequently I'll just blurt out these lines from one of my plays (or type them in response to one of you fine people) even if they don't exactly fit.  The best part is that it is kind of an in joke and only the members of the casts would 'get it.'  Although the situation is strange enough so that it is still amusing.

Now, I occasionally remark upon penguins, pickled substances and the funky chicken, but they are just the normal workings of my mind. 

This year my favorite play lines are: "Die you monkey, die!"  "Good Lord and butter." "Shut up your red blood lips." and perhaps, "What's the matter with you, are you still insane?"

Sadly, they are not my lines.

So we got steaks for grilling for Father's Day.  It will go something like this...

Don't you think it's a perfect gift? 

Well, it beats that tie you were gonna give dad.

At rehearsal the other day we all wondered what happened to one of our cast members as he didn't show.  So, the stage manager calls and he tells her that he was bummed out and didn't want to go out.

The reason for being bummed out?  He went dancing the night before and did not find his lady love.

To feel better, he decided to attend a midwives gathering.

I don't know about you, but this idea has possibilities! 

Of course the equivalent for women would be going to a proctologist convention or something, maybe it's not such a great idea...

There is something inherently difficult in raising a child. 
It
is just not a by the book deal. 
One does not have a specific
formula that makes all kids turn out great. 
Even if you can get a child through the early years, that stage from puberty to adultery is the pits for both of you.

Good day leddies and gentlemans,

Let me just say that Miss Seeta is doing fine and growing like a weed, for all those who remember the scamp.  (For those who don't, she is our adopted daughter from India and I shared my trip to India to pick her up.  If you want to look back, starting at 9/12/2003, I've publicized my old posts.)  She's in second grade and rules her roost.  Still full of life and charming all in her path.  Still overt.  Still energetic.  Still driving her mother crazy with her nonstoppedness (read that with 4 syllables please.)  Now I know that is not a word, but if you knew Seeta, like I know Seeta, you'd agree that is what she does.  Even though she is 8 she is still testing her boundaries more like a 3 or 4 year old, and while I love my family, I am old and I am tired.  I am frequently physically worn out by her.

On the other hand, I also have my teenage son & daughter.  People ask me how are my children, and all I have to say about my son is that he is 15 and enough has been said.  Internal strife abounds for both sides.

This strife doesn't even have to be generated by the kids themselves, because I just attended a workshop on internet safety for your children, and now I am a mess.  Who knew people could be so evil, and now I find out there's not much I can do about it.  So while I don't have to physically chase the teens around, emotionally I am drained.

So between all my children I am a great big puddle on the ground.

Revenge is sweet, however and I have a plan.  I've even told my children about it, so you can say they have been warned and they should be afraid, very afraid.

Remember when you were a teenager and your parents embarrassed you to no end?  Well I've found out why that is, and I plan to use this knowledge to my full advantage.  It is the adult's turn to 'get back' for all those times in the grocery store a fit was pitched because one didn't buy the frooty puffs cereal.  Parents are horridly embarrassed by their children's behavior, but all we must do is wait.  And because we are old, we are able to do this.  Remember kiddies, this is intensional.  It is not an unconscious act.  I am sure it is why I am not introduced to any person whom any of my kids may be sweet on.

For me, the best part is that I do have an up-side to my situation.  Theater acting is a big part of this... I can 'legitimately' act crazed, release my inner child AND embarrass my kids all at the same time.  As an added perk, I get away from my kids for a few hours a week to 'play.'

So this summer, I am in two plays.  And in "Lend Me a Tenor" I 'get' to appear on stage in a towel.  That aught to really embarrass the poor dears!

... the world, if shrunken down to marble size would be smoother than a marble?
... even though we bitch about fuel prices, we still have the cheapest petrol prices in the world?
... we also have the cheapest food prices in the world
                    -we spend on average 11% of our income whereas the next cheapest spends 17%
                    -and most spend closer to 50%
... potato chips cost 200% more per pound than potatoes
... the average person falls asleep in seven minutes
... 12 oz of a typical American pale lager actually has fewer calories than 2% milk or apple juice
... in New York City, approx. 1,600 people are bitten by other humans (I assume that's annually)
... an ear of corn averages 800 kernels in 16 rows


All of this, while perfectly true, I have not verified; but you believe everything you read, don't you?!

So, last weekend I participated in the American Diabetes Association Tour de Cure.  My family & I rode our bikes 25k and raised over $600 for Diabetes.  It was the first year that we could all participate because the weather was gorgeous... something that doesn't happen easily in Maine, especially when the weather lying reports say rain, rain and more rain.

It was lots of fun, except now that the event is over, I have zero motivation to ride my bike since I was training before, and now I am only exercising.

Exercise, an evil concept that should be banned.  I'm starting a petition, don't forget to sign on.

I know, I know, I suck. 

see ya later - you know I can't stay mad at you forever